Working Mom

I miss my kids. A sad way to start a post I know, but I really do miss them. A few weeks ago, Caroline turned 4. That night as I was tucking her into bed, the reality that my baby girl isn't really a baby anymore, hit me like someone slapped me across the face. I have one more year before school starts for her, then I surely will not be able to keep her from growing up! I love my career, but I love my job as Mom a LOT more. This balance of two worlds is sometimes so hard that I can't think straight. I feel like I am missing everything! Carter talks in full sentences and wants to do everything for himself. I'm not even allowed to rock him anymore! He'll say, "Momma, no rock. I want Carter bed." It crushes my heart! Almost every night I go back in his room after he's alseep and pet his head and hold his tiny hands. When did my babies decide to not be babies!? I know this is a struggle that has gone on for decades, but how do you deal? Where do find the balance that you can live with? How do you hand your babies over day after day and not eventually fall apart with heartache? How do you convince yourself that you're a good Mom when you feel like you're never there? God has blessed me beyond measure with the lives of my precious children. If I felt led to stop working, I would do it. I have prayed and prayed and God has not given me that direction. So I will continue to press on and do the best I can for my children with the hours that are given to me each day.

I miss these sweet faces!